Somehow Glee always finds a way to speaking to my heart, and the season 2 finale was no exception. I’ll warn you that this post will be a little more personal than usual, but I think that’s ok…I don’t think there’s anything wrong with posting a personal reflection every so often.
This was an intense episode of Glee. After two years of hard work, New Directions finally makes it to New York for Nationals, they sing their heart out with 2 incredible original songs, only to find out it was all for nothing…they lost. Everyone, including me, was so sure that they had a top 10 finish in the bag, but unfortunately for the group a surprise kiss between Rachel and Finn during their performance ruined that chance. I think we could all understand the frustration of the group after finding out that they lost...but I want to focus on the conversation between Brittany and Santana.
For me this is an extremely powerful scene. Santana is completely overcome with anger because of their loss at Nationals, and has conveniently directed all of that anger at Rachel, whom she blames for the loss. Santana’s anger is real, intense, and totally understandable. That being said, she is extremely lucky to have a friend like Brittany at her side to remind her that winning/losing isn’t what is most important. Everyone wanted to win, but that wasn’t really the point of the last 2 years for the Glee Club. In this beautiful conversation, Santana is reminded that as she focuses so much on the loss at Nationals she is missing the whole point of everything that the Glee Club has been though. The kids in New Directions have learned invaluable lessons about self-acceptance as they bonded together not as friends, but as family. The kids in the Glee Club bonded together and made something beautiful…they share something really special…to get so caught up on a failed top 10 finish at Nationals and forget the incredible beauty of the many lessons these kids learned from each other would be an absolute tragedy. Santana is so lucky to have a good friend like Brittany to remind her of that.
Over the past few months, but especially during this past week, I have been having the same conversation with God that Santana and Brittany have here. A few months ago I was given the first Salesian obedience of my life…I was asked to spend 7 weeks of my summer working at 2 different Salesian summer camps (5 weeks in Tampa and 2 more weeks in Orange). This of course means that I won’t be able to work at Camp Echo Bay this summer, where I’ve spent the last 4 and a half summers of my life. Echo Bay has a very special place in my heart for a lot of reasons. In a very real way Camp Echo Bay taught me what it means to be a Salesian, but perhaps most importantly it was a place where I experienced God in a very real and powerful way. I loved Echo Bay and gave so much of myself to Echo Bay because I found God there…I found God in the counselors and the kids. It was a place that did wonders for my spiritual life, taught me to be a Salesian, and it was a place that I think I really did make a positive difference over the course of the last 4 and a half summers. How could I ever leave?
For a long time, being sent to Tampa made me feel like Santana in this scene…overcome with anger for many reasons. Fortunately, God has been there to guide me just as Brittany was there to guide Santana. Somehow God was able to work through my anger and help me to realize that there’s a lot more going on in this obedience than just “Echo Bay or not.” Santana was so stuck on the fact that New Directions lost that she completely lost sight of everything she gained through her 2 years in the Glee Club. Somehow God has shown me the very same thing. There are a lot of lessons He is trying to teach me this summer, and if I keep trying to fight him I won’t learn, I won’t grow. God wants me to realize the family he has blessed me with in my prenovitiate class, to learn the value of humility by giving up the control that I had at Echo Bay, to meet Him just as powerfully as ever before in this new environment, and maybe most of all…to simply trust that He knows what is best for me. I can say if it was my choice, yes I would choose to go back to Camp Echo Bay…but it’s not my choice, it’s Gods…He is sending me to Tampa, and I need to trust that this is what is truly best for the building of the Kingdom of God in Tampa, in Echo Bay, and most importantly within my own heart. I can finally hear the words God has been screaming at me all this time… “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46). Lord, I am finally starting to trust in you.
Today I arrived in Tampa, and have been doing a lot of thinking. No, Tampa is not the place that I would have chosen to spend my summer, but it is the place that God has sent me. It’s time I stop fighting God and start trusting in his plan for me. It’s not going to be easy but with God’s grace, I’m committed to making this summer work out. I had another Glee song stuck in my head throughout the day...I don’t think it’s a coincidence...
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